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Twenty somethings unite!

Never Buy X-Mas Cards that Require Extra Postage December 21, 2011


So the lady at the post office through my credit card at me with the most pissed off look I have ever seen.  I looked from my credit card back to her in disbelief.  “Oh, so we’re doing this?”  I was ready to fly over the counter and show her the true meaning of Christmas.

OK let me back up a bit here.  You see, last Saturday I made a quick trip to the post office.  We live in a small town and I thought I’d just run in real quick and get some stamps.  Shutterfly gave me 10 free Christmas cards in October, so I picked out the most extravagant (and pricey) cards they had.  Hey, they were free!  The catch was that they were those perfectly squared cards that for some reason require extra postage.   Hence my visit to the post office last Saturday.  Ten 64 cent stamps.  That was my mission.

I walked in, bedhead and all.  There were at least 25 people who turned to look at me who were also making a quick trip to the post office the Saturday before Christmas.  I found my spot in line and listened to two older women in front me talk about what was in their packages.  Gifts for their grandkids… “Teenage boys are so hard to buy for!”  I patiently waited 35 minutes for my turn in line.  The lady in front of me paid just under $22 to ship her gift (Are you kidding me??)  and then I approached the counter.

“Hello!  I’m going to be an easy customer today.  I just need ten stamps for these square cards and I’ll be on my way!”  I was so cheerful and pleasant it was almost sickening.  I figured this poor woman could use a break from crankiness.

“Oh,” she said, “We’re out.”  Scowling.

“Really?  Out?  I know it’s not your fault or anything but… I’ve been here for 35 minutes waiting for these stamps.  Maybe you should put a sign up or something.  Then people will see it and leave if that’s what they came for.”

“Do you want me to make an announcement or something,” she groaned.

“No, just thought a sign might prevent someone from waiting like I did.”

“I can sell you a book of stamps and you can just put 2 on every card,” she suggested.

SIIIIGH “Fine.  I’ve waited this long, might as well get them mailed off.”  I ran my credit card through and she asked to see it.  She tossed it back at me and it landed on the counter.  Wow.  Really?  We’re doing this?  This is happening?  I’m so going to fly over this counter at you cranky post office lady.  I looked up and saw a surveillance camera.  This changed my mind. 

“Sorry,” she said with the same scowl.  I took my stamps, walked over to a different counter and began sticking them on my envelopes.  Suddenly the bright red marker I used to address all of them didn’t seem so cheerful anymore.  As I worked on my cards, the post office lady said in a loud voice to the entire post office….

“IS ANYONE HERE WAITING FOR 64 CENT STAMPS?”  (Crickets…. total silence.)  I glanced around mortified and my face flushed.

“WELL, THIS GAL OVER HERE (points at me) SAYS I SHOULD MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THEM!”

I died a slow death as this woman embarrassed the supreme crap out of me.  Enraged, I turned around.  I waved my arms around and wiggled my hips, “YAH!  BECAUSE THEY’RE OUT!”

I shoved my envelopes into the mailbox, avoided any and all eye contact with the long line of customers and left the post office.  Merry Christmas to you too lady.  Merry Christmas indeed…

I swore that while traipsing across the parking lot I would be ambushed by cameras and people screaming, “You got punked!”  My eyes darted around the lot and saw no cameras.  I got in my car and just started laughing.  The past 40 minutes were something from an SNL skit that could appear on their Christmas special.  I called my mom and together we laughed so hard that I literally cried while describing what had just happened.  It’s times like these, where if you don’t laugh you’ll cry.  And if the story is really good, you’ll do both!

 

How do you know it’s love? February 14, 2011


As someone who married her high school sweetheart, I’d like to think I know a little something about being in love.  I’m not an expert on love, but I believe I’ve learned a few signs that show its true love between you and that special someone.  Even though I’ve been in love for 11 years, the kind of love we share has evolved over time.  You can and should fall in love again and again with that special someone.  This happens because the love you share changes as you grow together.  In my case, it changed when we learned how to drive, when we graduated, when we entered college, when we got engaged, when we got married, and then as we’ve shared our life together over the past couple of years.  The following, in my experience, are the top 10 ways you know it’s love…

10. You share the last piece of… anything! 

 If there is one piece of bread left in the basket at a restaurant, neither of us will just grab it and scarf it.  Instead, one of us takes it, breaks it in half, and the other person gets to choose which half they want.  Silly?  Maybe.  But I feel it’s so important to still share with each other, no matter how long you’ve been together.

9. You feel comfortable announcing that you are going to the bathroom and say exactly what you’ll be doing in there.

I know, I know.  This may seem nasty to some people, but once you get to know someone really well and then live with them, this becomes second nature.  Often times it isn’t necessary, but it just comes out like word vomit.  I couldn’t fathom announcing that he should “stay clear of the bathroom for a few minutes” when we were dating.  Now, I feel like its common courtesy to give him a heads up to avoid an unwelcome surprise.  That’s love.

8. He’ll accompany you, no matter where you’re going.

Whether it’s your parents’ house or a spin at the Gap.  Someone who really loves you will go with you.  Although my husband frantically searches for a chair the moment we step into the Gap, it is important to note that he is there!  He hates shopping, but will go with me because he loves me.  He’ll drag his feet through Express and The Loft and happily answer me when I burst out of the dressing room saying, “How does this look?”  Ok, so he doesn’t happily answer.  He’s usually rubbing his forehead and bouncing his knee nervously.  BUT, he’s there.  For me!

7. He learns to love chick flicks!

Although resistant at first, my husband has come to not only tolerate, but enjoy movies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Serendipity, and The Holiday.  I don’t think the story line is what draws him in, I think it’s knowing that it makes me happy to watch these movies together.  It probably doesn’t hurt to watch Kate Hudson and Jennifer Aniston in all their glory, but again, I like to think it’s because he loves me!

6. He doesn’t judge you based on your music, clothing, TV, or food choices.

I can be scarfing down peanut butter M&M’s by the handful in my two inches too short pajama pants, while watching Teen Mom and my adoring husband doesn’t even flinch.  This probably isn’t the picture he had in his mind of me when we began dating, but once you live with someone, that kind of goes out the window.  Being in love means you can be yourself in front of your husband.  But keep in mind, this means I must also be accepting of the nearly see-through sweatpants he’s had since college and obsession with Captain Crunch cereal.  Which I am.  Usually.

5. He calls you back when you’re upset.

We’ve all been there.  You get in an argument with your significant other.  Your voice gets shaky and you don’t want to get upset in front of him.  So you insist everything is fine, hang up the phone and cry.  If he loves you, he’ll call you back and make sure you’re happy before you go to sleep.  This happened while we dated in high school, college, and now as we’re married.  My husband travels for work sometimes so we still use the phone often to communicate.  He will absolutely not let me go to bed upset.  The same goes when we’re home together.  We do not go to bed upset.  That is true love.

4. He still manages to smile and laugh as you belt out terrible karaoke.

After a few drinks, I like to sing karaoke (see previous post.)  I’ve been known to sing Vanilla Ice, Sir Mix-A-Lot, and Britney Spears after consuming a few adult beverages.  Only a man in love will watch and crack up at a tipsy girl’s rendition of Baby Got Back and then hug her after she’s done. 

3. He’ll write you love notes and you’ll write back.

I went to high school about 8 years ago.  There was no texting (hard to believe!!)  If my husband (my boyfriend at the time) wanted to say “hey” or “I love you” he did it through a note.  We were young, but so in love.  He wasn’t too proud to write his feelings in a note and that’s what made me love him.  Want to know the crazy thing?  I still have every single note he ever wrote me 🙂

2. No time to shave your legs?  No problem!

I’ve only been married a couple of years, but it’s wonderful to not worry about having perfectly smooth legs at all times.  I used to feel that way.  Now don’t get me wrong, I haven’t let myself go or fallen apart completely, but sometimes it’s just a pain in the ass to shave your legs!  Having a husband who loves me regardless, makes me less self-conscious about my leg stubble.  Gotta love marriage!

1.  He’ll hold your hand in the car, church, Target, or in bed.

My guy’s a hand holder.  At first it was in the halls of our high school.  Then it was throughout campus on the way to class.  Now it’s while we sit in church or watch TV in bed at night.  I wasn’t much of a hand holder until he came along, but it turns out to be a great way to show someone you’re in love.  Ever since we were 16 he’s held my hand in the car.  There’s something so simple and so sweet about hand holding.  I hope it never ends.  I can already see us in our motorized wheel chairs cruising the halls of our retirement home hand in hand.  Sigh. 

Happy Valentines Day to all of the couples who are in love and to those seeking love.  It’s an amazing feeling that I hope everyone gets to experience at some point in their life!