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How do you know it’s love? February 14, 2011


As someone who married her high school sweetheart, I’d like to think I know a little something about being in love.  I’m not an expert on love, but I believe I’ve learned a few signs that show its true love between you and that special someone.  Even though I’ve been in love for 11 years, the kind of love we share has evolved over time.  You can and should fall in love again and again with that special someone.  This happens because the love you share changes as you grow together.  In my case, it changed when we learned how to drive, when we graduated, when we entered college, when we got engaged, when we got married, and then as we’ve shared our life together over the past couple of years.  The following, in my experience, are the top 10 ways you know it’s love…

10. You share the last piece of… anything! 

 If there is one piece of bread left in the basket at a restaurant, neither of us will just grab it and scarf it.  Instead, one of us takes it, breaks it in half, and the other person gets to choose which half they want.  Silly?  Maybe.  But I feel it’s so important to still share with each other, no matter how long you’ve been together.

9. You feel comfortable announcing that you are going to the bathroom and say exactly what you’ll be doing in there.

I know, I know.  This may seem nasty to some people, but once you get to know someone really well and then live with them, this becomes second nature.  Often times it isn’t necessary, but it just comes out like word vomit.  I couldn’t fathom announcing that he should “stay clear of the bathroom for a few minutes” when we were dating.  Now, I feel like its common courtesy to give him a heads up to avoid an unwelcome surprise.  That’s love.

8. He’ll accompany you, no matter where you’re going.

Whether it’s your parents’ house or a spin at the Gap.  Someone who really loves you will go with you.  Although my husband frantically searches for a chair the moment we step into the Gap, it is important to note that he is there!  He hates shopping, but will go with me because he loves me.  He’ll drag his feet through Express and The Loft and happily answer me when I burst out of the dressing room saying, “How does this look?”  Ok, so he doesn’t happily answer.  He’s usually rubbing his forehead and bouncing his knee nervously.  BUT, he’s there.  For me!

7. He learns to love chick flicks!

Although resistant at first, my husband has come to not only tolerate, but enjoy movies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Serendipity, and The Holiday.  I don’t think the story line is what draws him in, I think it’s knowing that it makes me happy to watch these movies together.  It probably doesn’t hurt to watch Kate Hudson and Jennifer Aniston in all their glory, but again, I like to think it’s because he loves me!

6. He doesn’t judge you based on your music, clothing, TV, or food choices.

I can be scarfing down peanut butter M&M’s by the handful in my two inches too short pajama pants, while watching Teen Mom and my adoring husband doesn’t even flinch.  This probably isn’t the picture he had in his mind of me when we began dating, but once you live with someone, that kind of goes out the window.  Being in love means you can be yourself in front of your husband.  But keep in mind, this means I must also be accepting of the nearly see-through sweatpants he’s had since college and obsession with Captain Crunch cereal.  Which I am.  Usually.

5. He calls you back when you’re upset.

We’ve all been there.  You get in an argument with your significant other.  Your voice gets shaky and you don’t want to get upset in front of him.  So you insist everything is fine, hang up the phone and cry.  If he loves you, he’ll call you back and make sure you’re happy before you go to sleep.  This happened while we dated in high school, college, and now as we’re married.  My husband travels for work sometimes so we still use the phone often to communicate.  He will absolutely not let me go to bed upset.  The same goes when we’re home together.  We do not go to bed upset.  That is true love.

4. He still manages to smile and laugh as you belt out terrible karaoke.

After a few drinks, I like to sing karaoke (see previous post.)  I’ve been known to sing Vanilla Ice, Sir Mix-A-Lot, and Britney Spears after consuming a few adult beverages.  Only a man in love will watch and crack up at a tipsy girl’s rendition of Baby Got Back and then hug her after she’s done. 

3. He’ll write you love notes and you’ll write back.

I went to high school about 8 years ago.  There was no texting (hard to believe!!)  If my husband (my boyfriend at the time) wanted to say “hey” or “I love you” he did it through a note.  We were young, but so in love.  He wasn’t too proud to write his feelings in a note and that’s what made me love him.  Want to know the crazy thing?  I still have every single note he ever wrote me 🙂

2. No time to shave your legs?  No problem!

I’ve only been married a couple of years, but it’s wonderful to not worry about having perfectly smooth legs at all times.  I used to feel that way.  Now don’t get me wrong, I haven’t let myself go or fallen apart completely, but sometimes it’s just a pain in the ass to shave your legs!  Having a husband who loves me regardless, makes me less self-conscious about my leg stubble.  Gotta love marriage!

1.  He’ll hold your hand in the car, church, Target, or in bed.

My guy’s a hand holder.  At first it was in the halls of our high school.  Then it was throughout campus on the way to class.  Now it’s while we sit in church or watch TV in bed at night.  I wasn’t much of a hand holder until he came along, but it turns out to be a great way to show someone you’re in love.  Ever since we were 16 he’s held my hand in the car.  There’s something so simple and so sweet about hand holding.  I hope it never ends.  I can already see us in our motorized wheel chairs cruising the halls of our retirement home hand in hand.  Sigh. 

Happy Valentines Day to all of the couples who are in love and to those seeking love.  It’s an amazing feeling that I hope everyone gets to experience at some point in their life!

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4 Responses to “How do you know it’s love?”

  1. What a wonderful post. Your list is great! And so fun to read something happy and refreshing. Glad you’re “in love.” 🙂 I liked #5 the best, he’ll call you back when you’re upset. So true! And isn’t that the best feeling? Makes all the sad go away.

  2. Beautiful ! I was just ticking off the things we had in common and I realized that the list completely matched our marriage. and ours wasn’t even a love match but an arranged one. Marriage is so comforting and wonderful.

  3. That was really sweet. =)
    How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is so funny, I’m not even sure it is strictly a chick flick. My husband laughs so hard at that one he has to pause the movie until he gets his breath back.


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