I recently celebrated Christmas surrounded by my family and the in-laws. They’re all wonderful people who love my husband and I very much. We have fun with them, get silly, and truly enjoy each other’s company. However, there was one issue that kept coming up over the holidays that continues to nag at me. Why is everyone questioning me about pregnancy? I turn a drink down and whispers fill the air with, “She MUST be pregnant!” My sister-in-law announces she’s pregnant and immediately the family turns to me, as if on cue, to say, “When’s it your turn?” I post a picture on Facebook of my hubbie and I in front of the Christmas tree only to receive the following comment from my cousin, “Are these the parents to be?” Seriously? A girl can’t be halfway to 50, married, and…. not pregnant? Maybe its the way midwest people are. You get married, you get pregnant, and you live life. Well don’t get me wrong, I do want kids someday. I want to parent like my mom and dad did and enjoy life’s little moments with my own son or daughter. But, at 25, I’m just not interested yet. I love calling up my halfway to 50 friends to meet for a drink on Friday night, I love watching a Redbox with my hubbie on a Tuesday night because we can, and I enjoy going on vacations each summer just the two of us. I’m not ready to give up this time in my life yet! This doesn’t make me selfish or weird does it? Just because some of my friends have decided to start families doesn’t make them weird or wrong either. I enjoy visiting my friends’ houses to play with their new babies! Really, I do! But it’s also nice to go home to my quiet living room and play Super Mario Brothers on the Wii for an hour because I can!
Another element to this puzzle is my occupation. I’m a teacher. A kindergarten teacher. My kiddos are great and much of the reason why I love my job so much! But then again, they are also part of the reason why I appreciate my halfway to 50 child-free home at night. After someone tosses their cookies at school and looks to me for assistance, I can’t help but be grateful for the fact that no one can do that to me at home. It is still my time to be carefree!
I can’t be the only one who feels this way! If you’re dealing with, or have dealt with the constant pregnancy quesions, please give me advice. I’m running out of kind and gentle ways of swaying the converstion another way. Help!
What’s the point you say? All I want is for people to respect those who simply don’t want children right away. I will have them someday, I promise. But right now, I don’t want raised eyebrows at the sight of pop instead of beer. It doesn’t mean I’m pregnant, it doesn’t mean I’m hiding something, and it doesn’t mean that we’re trying for a baby. It means I didn’t feel like alcohol at that moment (trust me, there are plenty of moments when I will consume more than necessary.) When we’re ready for that next chapter in our lives, our family and friends will be the first to know. Until then,please let us be young and stupid!